I had a dream last night that I actually would classify as a nightmare. My dream was not a vision of things that could be, although I guess that would be possible, but a dream in which I woke up wondering if there was a message in it for me. I really hate it when you have disturbing dreams and wake up feeling shaken and inadequate.
In my dream I was on this singing team that went to churches to lead worship. Everyone on this team was around my daughters age. We were just going up on stage when all these girls, four of them, told me that I was to old and couldn't keep up with them. All the way through that night they kept taunting me about how inadequate and slow I was to be singing with them. Needless to say I was devastated and couldn't understand why they hadn't said anything before. And why were they humiliating me publicly. They felt that I should have known that they were way out of my league. I was just to old to sing with them. Thankfully, I woke up. But that nightmare left me wondering my question of today, "Is there an age in which you should quit doing the things that you love just because you are a certain age?"
I'm 50 and to this point I have been on a worship team most of my life. I am wondering if there is an age where it is inappropriate to be on the team when everyone is younger than you? Throughout my life there have been times that I have thought that there are people who should realize that their time has come and it's time to be your age. I find that I wonder that for things like dress, hair, behaviour etc. Now I find myself wondering if that extends to ministry?
I have heard it said often that it is time for the younger generation to step in and lead. Up til now I've been okay with that because I was that generation. Now here I am stepping over that thresh hold of the older generation and I find myself wondering if that means it's time to give up being part of a music team because right now I'm gray haired and over 50.
So again my question comes up "Am I to old to continue singing for worship in a church that has young music? Is there only certain music that you publicly do that is age appropriate?" or "Should I should just dye my hair and try and fool the world into thinking that I'm younger than I am?" (By the way I'm not judgemental on coloring hair.)
Do you think I'm going through a midlife crisis?